Intimacy Needs Across Different Relationship Types: The Role of Gender and Attachment Style

Abstract In this study, we examined five different intimacy needs (i.e., emotional, social, sexual, intellectual, and recreational) across several types of modern-day romantic relationships (i.e., committed, friends with benefits, one-night-stands, and polyamorous) among undergraduates ( N = 240). Overall, individuals rated emotional needs as most important and social needs as least important to a fulfilling partnership. Additionally, they expected committed partners to meet 81% of their total intimacy needs but other types of partners to meet far fewer (i.e., one-night stands = 20%, friends with benefits = 35%, polyamorous = 50%). Men and women rated intimacy needs similarly across most relationship types; however, attachment and attachment x gender emerged as significant predictors of intimacy needs. Specifically, men who were anxiously attached had fewer sexual need expectations across most relationship types, while anxiously attached women had more sexual need expectations, but only in polyamorous relationships. Meanwhile, within committed relationships, men and women who were more avoidantly attached had fewer need expectations across all categories of intimacy. Combined, these results suggest that young adult men and women have similar expectations regarding intimate exchanges, but gender and attachment orientation influence variations in these expectations.