Relationship Beginnings: Selection and Initiation

Relationships are influenced by how and where they begin. This chapter focuses on the initiation of romantic and nonromantic relationships (e.g., friendships), including those initiated online. We discuss what types of people are selected as friends and romantic partners as well as the role of context in initial social interaction. First, we first explore the influence of geographic and virtual proximity in relationship initiation. Then, we offer homophily and predicted outcome value theories to understand why some people are more socially attractive than others, and why context influences social attraction. Next, we introduce social exchange and partner preference theories to explain why people are sexually and romantically attracted to others. We examine the similarities and differences between online dating and in-person romantic relationship initiation. Finally, we examine the conversational factors – both verbal and nonverbal – leading to attraction. We also discuss specific partner compatibility – that is, what makes two people "click."