Scripts Wanted? Lesbian Couples in Sweden after the Transition to Motherhood

Drawing on pre-birth and post-birth interviews with women in lesbian couples, this study addresses a change in how these women talk about roles and scripts in two-mother families. Before they became mothers, the women constructed their relationships as positively absent of predefined roles and scripts. In the follow-up interviews, the lack of scripts for their type of family was largely approached as a disadvantage. This change in narrative is explored through the meanings the women attach to being two mothers, and what type of motherhood ideals underpin these meanings. The findings show that many of the women adhered to an intensive motherhood ideal. Gendered norms in motherhood was sometimes viewed as a positive resource for the lesbian-headed. While being two mothers was conveyed as an advantage—as the burdens of motherhood were spread across two individuals—it also brought challenges of its own. The challenges relate to the absence of scripts. These findings are discussed in relation to sociological perspectives on “negotiated” and “democratic” families. Since these concepts also capture underlying beliefs and discourses around gender equality, the findings not only challenge late modern sociological theories but also contemporary gender equality ideals from the perspective of lesbian families.