Criticality, agency, investment, tension, and vulnerability in my Global South teacher–scholar multiple identities: a critical auto-ethnographic account

This article reflects my (multilingual) teacher identities in my Global South teacher–scholar’s position as a critical, agentive emerging scholar identity who actively disrupt the dominance of colonial/monolingual paradigm in ELT. My critical position as a Global South – Teacher – Scholar has been documented in my PhD research on post-structural and post-colonial and interdisciplinary informed Applied Linguistic research and publications which are mostly on Critical Applied Linguistics. Those published works show how I exercised criticality, agency, investment, and how I embraced tensions, and vulnerability. Some of my works discuss religious and institutional values, my Javanese (tribe) and my social activism. My publications also signal my agency and subjectivities. In this article, I also did critical re-reading and re-analysis on some of the data quoted from my published works employing Connell’s Southern Theory, Kirmayer et al. agency, Darvin’s and Norton’s investment, Bakhtinian dialogism, and Derridean deconstructive project. This article is based on a critical autoethnographic approach where I used my memories, e.g. PhD study, teaching experiences, the quoted data from published and unpublished materials to provide contexts for my data and to generate analysis. In this paper, I used my professional teaching experiences, personal life, and publishing histories to inform my ‘research’ and vice versa.