“Treading on eggshells”: Communication between mothers and children in out‐of‐home care

Abstract Objective This study explores how communication between parents and children was experienced by adults who were placed in out‐of‐home care (OOHC) when they were children, and mothers who had a child in OOHC. The mothers were not related to the adult children. Background The quality and process of contact shapes experiences for young people in OOHC and mothers of children in OOHC. Research has primarily focused on young people's outcomes, with studies on mothers of children in OOHC only beginning to emerge, highlighting the need for a systemic lens that considers both perspectives. Methods Five mothers with a child in OOHC were interviewed. Six adults who were in OOHC as children, unrelated to the mothers, were also interviewed. The interviews were analyzed using interpretative phenomenological analysis. Results/Findings The mothers and adults placed in OOHC as children often sought to connect with their children or parents, respectively. However, their past traumas and the setup of contact processes significantly disrupted communication. Participants' communication evolved over time as they renegotiated their relationship. Conclusion As they developed an understanding of their past experiences of lack of care, the way the mothers and adult children communicated with their child or parent, respectively, evolved. The distance imposed in contact was often described as protective by the adult children and harmful by the mothers. Implications Practitioners should consider attachment, developmental stage and the changing life situations of both birth parents and young people with OOHC experiences to make sense of their interacting hopes for communication.