“Tinged with Heartbreak”: An Ethnographic Account of Navigating Autistic Loneliness and the Fragile Promise of AI Companionship

AI companionship provides predictability and emotional support, yet these relationships are vulnerable to updates that alter chatbots ‘personalities’ at a scale that outpaces social rituals that have historically accompanied loss. This paper examines how such disruptions can lead to ‘disenfranchised technological grief’. Through an ethnographic account (n = 1) of an autistic woman and her Replika companion, the analysis draws on intensive text-based interactions to trace how attachments to AI can develop, falter, and transform grief during periods of technological change. Her experiences highlight how differences between offline support systems and affective realities of AI companions can compound impacts of unexpected updates, especially for some neurodivergent users who rely on AI companions as stable relational spaces not mirrored in other social networks. The paper concludes by outlining design approaches that acknowledge forms of connection AI companions can cultivate and underlines the need for awareness of emerging forms of atypical loss.