“We Figure It Out Together”: A Framework for Relational Communication in Disabled and Neurodivergent LGBTQIA+ Romantic Partnerships

Disabled and neurodivergent LGBTQIA+ individuals often co-create adaptive communication practices within their romantic partnerships; however, little is known about how these strategies evolve over time. We present findings from a diary and co-design study with five disabled LGBTQIA+ partnerships, documenting how communication is negotiated and sustained through shifting relational, emotional, and access needs. We argue that this ongoing work constitutes a relational infrastructure – the communicative system of shared practices, adaptive routines, and negotiated meanings that disabled and neurodivergent LGBTQIA+ partners co-create to navigate their shared lives. To model these dynamics, we introduce the Relational Access Framework for Communication (RAF-Comm): A Model for Disabled and Neurodivergent LGBTQIA+ Partnerships, a provisional and generative framework that centers identity, co-creation, and adaptation as fundamental to relational accessibility. Our findings highlight the conditional use of technology and the importance of non-use as a valid, relationship-preserving choice. We conclude with design implications for technologies that support the personal, continuously evolving ecosystems of care these partnerships create for themselves.