I Am Not a Mom

Womanhood has long been entangled with motherhood. Societal pressures to have children reinforce the idea that to be a real woman, one must become a mother. These pressures and expectations not only limit the definition of womanhood but are contradictory to the lack of systems and policies in place to support mothers. Using philosophical autoethnography, this essay will examine the sociopolitical factors that influence the decision to have children. As a heterosexual, married woman without children working in the early childhood field, I explore my own experiences as they fit into the larger scope of research and American society. By exploring my own cultural experiences, I question the built-in assumptions that a woman can be “either” a free, independent woman “or” a mother by challenging political and systemic landscapes. As I conclude my exploration, I remain undecided about having children but am hopeful that, with advocacy and changes, women will have the power to make this decision independently without unnecessary external pressures.