“We need to solve this”, “but you don’t give me space”: How Attachment Styles Shape Pronoun Use in Romantic Conflict Communication

This project examines how personal pronouns (e.g., “I,” “we,” and “you”) are used in romantic communication and how such language use relates to individual differences in attachment anxiety and attachment avoidance. Building on attachment theory, the study focuses on computer-mediated communication and compares pronoun use in conflict versus affiliative interaction contexts. Participants with romantic relationship experience (n = 137) completed a measure of adult attachment and responded to a chat-based vignette designed to elicit either conflict-related or affiliative communication. Pronoun use was analyzed quantitatively using Linguistic Inquiry and Word Count (LIWC), and qualitative thematic analyses were conducted to examine the communicative functions of pronouns in context. Although attachment dimensions did not predict differences in pronoun frequency, the qualitative analyses revealed that pronouns served distinct interactional functions, such as expressing reassurance, attributing responsibility, setting boundaries, and coordinating collaboration. Together, these findings suggest that attachment-related dynamics may be reflected more in how pronouns are used within interaction than in how frequently they occur.