The misprediction of affectionate: Negative evaluations following a failed romantic pursuit are less severe than expected

In the process of building intimate relationships, when one person wishes to establish a romantic connection with another, they often initiate pursuit and have a high emotional investment, in the hope of eliciting a positive response from the other person. However, such pursuits are not always successful. Adopting both the actor’s and the bystander’s perspectives, this research employs an online scenario-based experimental method across 5 studies. It demonstrate that high emotional investment leads to more favorable evaluations from recipients and bystanders (Study 1). However, pursuers systematically underestimate this positive response from evaluators (Studies 2-3). This prediction bias partly stems from evaluators placing less weight on the pursuer’s competence and more on the warmth conveyed by the pursuit (Study 4). Consequently, reminding pursuers of the importance of perceived warmth can reduce or eliminate this bias (Study 5). This research enriches love psychology and offers practical guidance for individuals navigating romantic pursuits.