Why Do Zombies Have Gym Memberships? The Answer Is Surprisingly Relatable
Abstract
At first glance, the idea sounds ridiculous. Zombies… at the gym?https://funtimejokes.net/riddle-answer.php?id=3014 Dragging their feet onto treadmills, groaning through deadlifts, and staring blankly at mirrors they no longer need? But the more you think about it, the more it makes sense. In fact, if zombies did have gym memberships, their reasons might be uncomfortably similar to ours. Let's break it down. 1. Zombies Chase Humans — That's Cardio Zombies are known for one thing: never stopping. They walk. They chase. They wander endlessly with zero regard for rest days. That's basically low-intensity steady-state cardio. If you were chasing humans for hours (or days), you'd need stamina, strong legs, and decent endurance. A gym membership suddenly doesn't sound so crazy, does it? Relatable part: Humans join gyms for weight loss, stamina, and heart health. Zombies join gyms to avoid falling apart mid-chase. Different goals. Same treadmill. 2. Even Zombies Want to Look Good (Relatively Speaking) Sure, zombies aren't winning beauty contests anytime soon. But let's be honest— even the undead don't want to fall apart completely. A little muscle tone can: Keep arms attached during pursuits Improve posture while moaning Prevent embarrassing limb loss during lunges Relatable part: Humans go to the gym for confidence, aesthetics, and "feeling better in their body." Zombies go to the gym to keep their limbs intact. Self-care is universal. 3. Brains Alone Don't Build Muscle Zombies love brains. But brains don't build biceps. No matter how much protein—or neural tissue—you consume, muscle still requires resistance training. That's where the gym comes in. Deadlifts (very on brand) Squats (slow, controlled, zombie-approved) Pull-ups (for climbing obstacles while chasing prey) Relatable part: Humans know diet alone isn't enough. Zombies learn the hard way that brains ≠ gains. 4. Zombies Are Masters of Consistency Zombies don't: "Lose motivation" "Wait for Monday" "Skip workouts because it's raining" They show up. Every. Single. Day. No excuses. No mood swings. No gym selfies either. If zombies had memberships, they'd be the members who never cancel. Relatable part: Humans struggle with consistency. Zombies prove that discipline beats motivation—even when you're literally dead inside. Ouch. 5. The Gym Is a Social Space (Even for the Undead) Gyms aren't just about fitness. They're about: Being around others Feeling part of something Groaning together in shared pain Zombies may not talk much, but they do enjoy a good crowd. A gym full of fellow undead? That's community. Relatable part: Humans go to gyms for accountability and social energy. Zombies go because moaning alone at home feels lonely. 6. Stress Relief — Apocalypse Edition The zombie apocalypse is stressful. You're constantly: Hungry Chasing humans Being chased back Avoiding decapitation Lifting heavy things helps. Throwing around iron plates is cheaper than undead therapy. Relatable part: Humans lift weights to relieve stress and anxiety. Zombies lift weights to avoid losing their heads—literally. Same coping mechanism. Higher stakes. 7. Because "Dead" Doesn't Mean "Done" Here's the most relatable reason of all: Zombies may be dead, but they're still showing up. They still move forward. They still adapt. They still put in effort—even when life (and death) isn't ideal. That's kind of inspiring… in a dark, creepy way. Relatable part: Humans often feel exhausted, burned out, or "dead inside." Yet we still try to improve, one workout at a time. Final Thoughts: We're Not So Different After All So why do zombies have gym memberships? Not because they love fitness trends. Not because they enjoy leg day. But because: They want to survive They want to improve They want to keep going And honestly? That's exactly why humans go to the gym too. The next time you drag yourself to a workout feeling tired, unmotivated, and half-alive— remember: Even zombies don't skip leg day. 🧟♂️💪
Fields of Study & Subjects
Gothic Literature and Media Analysis
Physical Activity and Health
Cardiovascular and exercise physiology
Publication details
- Journal / source
- Knowledge Commons (Lakehead University)
- Publication date
- 29 January 2026