Thinking and Feeling

This chapter is about supporting children as they learn to integrate their complex feelings and become able to express their thoughts over time. This happens when adults continue to co-regulate with children, naming their feelings and helping them understand the vast expanse of emotions that they will experience as they grow, experience the world around them, and socialise with others. We introduce ways to support children through challenging behaviours, using a nurturing rather than punitive approach – moving away from the idea of behaviour management into a position where we truly ‘hear’ what children’s behaviour is telling us about their feelings. We refer to chapter One and use diagrams to describe what happens inside a child’s brain when they are stressed, and use the Hand Model to explain what happens when children ‘flip their lid’ and become dysregulated. We use the left/right brain development theories to provide therapeutic strategies that provide opportunities, such as stories and games, for adults to co-regulate with children. Strategies such as ‘name it to tame it’ are offered, with activities, such as ‘Step back; Correct; Connect’ to promote reflective pedagogy and challenge the traditional Behaviourist Approach.