Unsettled Waters

This chapter explores the author’s engagement in self-enquiry, focusing on her evolving professional identity as a mid-career professional woman in leadership roles. The author reflects on the concept of ‘retirement’, going beyond traditional definitions to one which emphasises a desire for change, not out of feelings of disinterest or overwhelm, but out of a need for personal and/or professional realignment and fulfilment. Drawing from Robert Kegan’s theory of adult development and Michael White’s narrative practice, she emphasizes the importance of transforming how one understands the self and the world. Through a metaphor of a jar filled with water, the author illustrates how unsettling existing beliefs can lead to a deeper understanding of self in order to inform our choices. The chapter delves into the complexity of professional and personal identity, shaped by values, personal experiences, and the stories we tell ourselves. The author highlights how developmental friendships and communities of practice have provided critical spaces for reflection and growth, aiding her in navigating complex decisions in her career. She also touches on the challenge of aligning personal values with organizational culture and leadership, especially within hierarchical structures. Ultimately, the chapter is about the importance of embracing self-care, strong relational connections, and values-based decision-making. It offers a reflective framework that can guide not just decisions about retirement but other pivotal career moments, emphasising that the development of a holistic understanding of personal and professional identity is imperative in supporting these decisions.