The World We Build for Them

This chapter reflects on the lived experience of growing up queer in Southern schools and how those experiences now shape my identity and practice as an educator. Through personal narrative, I describe how early moments of joy and self-expression were met with ridicule, harassment, and silence from adults who looked away. These experiences created a sense of isolation, leading to shame, disordered coping, and a gradual withdrawal from learning. Yet alongside this harm, I also found refuge in extracurricular spaces—band, 4-H, student journalism—where mentors trusted me, valued my contributions, and made me feel seen. Those safe spaces became survival, offering models of education rooted in presence and affirmation rather than judgment. As I entered the teaching profession, I carried both the weight of those early wounds and the lessons of those healing spaces. My pedagogy is grounded not only in content but in authenticity, empathy, and the refusal to let students disappear into silence. I argue that schools must be places where young people are not reduced to problems but affirmed as complex and worthy individuals. Ultimately, this chapter demonstrates how queer teachers’ lived experiences can inform practices that cultivate belonging, honesty, and joy for all students.