The Self-Consuming Objection: On the Structural Dissolution of Agrippa's Trilemma and the Closure of Standard Philosophical Challenges to Zero-Parameter Meta-Ontology

Agrippa's Trilemma has constrained epistemology for two thousand years: every justification terminates in regress, circularity, or dogma. We dissolve the trilemma by identifying its hidden assumption — that evaluation stands outside what it evaluates — and demonstrating that the triadic invariant R = P × I × Pr ≠ 0 is operative in any act of evaluation, including evaluation of itself. Building on four established results (the Ontological Closure Theorem, triadic Kripke semantics, universal triadic convergence, and exhaustive uniqueness), we prove three new closure theorems: the Self-Consumption Theorem, the Zero-Parameter Admissibility Test, and the Jurisdictional Circularity Lemma. A structural filter eliminates competing ontologies, and the biological retreat is closed via the transceiver error. An appendix addresses deployments from Gödel, Duhem-Quine, Popper, Kuhn, and the relabeling and category-error objections.